Ode to the broken

I long for faith
That sure and unbroken chain
An armor and an anchor
Instead of questioned truth and rancor
Knowing in my heart it may not be all right
Probably won’t be all right

I long for blindness
Its easy mask and forgiving face
That generous enveloped dark
Instead I see the gaslight’s spark
Exhausting, though a fan I must choose to flame
Probably a dying flame

I long for voicelessness
An excuse to stay mute in trials
That small blessing to rest my lungs
Instead of screaming into a void
Facing judgment with every moment I avoid
And every moment I speak up

I long for deafness
A reason to give up on all that grieves
A respite from that pressure I perceive
That I’m not doing, never do enough
Is never, ever, unendingly enough
In a movement destined for death

I long for sleep
Gracious, darkening sleep
In which my tired bones won’t be met with stares
That fabric of unity that tears
While this fight rages on against the real enemy
I regret to forgive, to just live, just be me
In a moment of national grief

I long for infection
Abandoned resurrection
But know it’s simply emptiness awaiting
Every moment I’m not participating
In this moment of unending fear and turmoil
As red white and blue reaches its boil
I long for faith
I long for faith