Tag: 30 before 30

Boring Adult Things, mom blog

Who wants to be ordinary in a crazy mixed-up world?

AR

Let’s do a quick recap of where things stand, as I sit about halfway past 31 (WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?) and actively working on the rest of the items on my list. I realize as I made this, I was being pretty ambitious. But I think it’s possible.

In other news, the fam is good and business is chugging along nicely. Here are some of the latest pics from life – can you believe my baby is almost 2?

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Yeah, I friggin’ saw Obama and yeah, he friggin’ waved at me!img_2351img_2430img_2494img_2538img_2458img_2561

Kathleen’s bachelorette party in Vegas!

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TRAVEL A LOT

40. Machu Picchu. Duh.

39. Go to Australia.

38. Go to Africa.

37. Complete Handstands Across America. (To date, I’ve hit GA, SC, NC, TN, PA, WV, VA, FL, AZ, NY, NJ, CT, AL, CO, IL, and WY.)

I’ve added Nevada – check it out! I need to get MD because we went there and I forgot to take a pic. We have family up there.

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36. Take Cameron to a place that’s non-English-speaking.

We will be going to Mexico City and Oaxaca as a family in March!

35. Take my mom on a vacation.

MAKE SOME MONEY

34. Increase my income by 10% at least one year.

I doubled my income this year.

33. Attend at least 5 networking events each year.

I think I’m on track with this. It’s amazing how small and incestuous my industry is!

32. Take a continuing education course in a related field.

I’m knocking this out for sure. And I’m learning a ton.

 

BE A GOOD MOM

31. Help Cameron with his homework. Even when I don’t understand it.

30. Log at least one solid moment where I go, “My kid made the choice to do the RIGHT thing.”

29. Tell Cameron EVERY SINGLE DAY that I love him.

 

BE A GOOD WIFE

28. Show Brandon at least once a month how much I really appreciate him – even when he’s driving me COMPLETELY INSANE for whatever reason.

I think I’ve been pretty decent at this one!

27. Have a date night alone with Brandon at least once a month.

We haven’t been great about this but we’re working on it!

 

DISCONNECT

26. Give up Facebook (or whatever the hot thing of the moment is) for a SOLID month.

I already did this, but I’m taking another couple months off for the holidays, and it’s been LOVELY.

25. Go on at least 10 family outings completely without my phone.

24. Turn off the TV for a month. Before 30, I struggled to do this for a week. Let’s up the game.

 

STAY HEALTHY

23. Run another 15k.

22. Take fitness classes at least once a week for 6 months – jazzercise, dance, Zumba, kickboxing, yoga… whatever.

Um yeah, probably need to get on this.

21. Go a month without alcohol.

This one too.

20. Go a month without bread.

 

BE ADVENTUROUS

19. Participate in a big cultural event (like I wanted to before 30 :).

18. Run for a public office.

17. Learn another new skill (welding, embroidery, calligraphy, etc).

 

CHILL OUT

16. Do absolutely nothing for a full weekend.

15. Write in a journal every day for a month.

14. Read a few more classic books.

13. Go on vacation somewhere that’s purely relaxing, not necessarily an “adventure” destination, just to enjoy it.

 

BE A GOOD FRIEND

13. Send care packages to 10 friends for no good reason.

12. Check in more often on friends who are going through crappy times.

Really trying my best to do this. I probably need to get better, though.

 

PROTECT MY INVESTMENTS

11. Get my retirement savings to $500k by age 40.

On track for this, at least early on. We added about $40k this year.

10. Diversify my investments – BitCoin? International real estate? Etc?

We have some solid cash in crypto, and I don’t love how it’s doing, but we’re in it for the long haul. Also hoping to move into real estate in the next couple years.

9. Keep 6 months worth of savings in the bank “just in case.”

I don’t know that we’ve hit this (other than if you count our savings for a basement renovation and our retirement, which I don’t), but we have maybe 3 solid months right now.

8. Keep, and stick to, a freakin’ budget for 6 months (to start).

7. Start a trust fund for Cam, and keep his college money saving.

6. Get smarter about investing – take a class in stock trading or similar.

5. Donate $10k to charity/a good cause.

We’re at $1k at this point to the Stacey Abrams campaign, plus a variety of different charity donations, but we probably need to up this.

 

WOAH, BUDDY

4. Flip/renovate a house.

3. Own chickens.

2. Move internationally for a period of time.

1. This one is my secret. But I expect to reveal it next year.

Boring Adult Things

“Before 30”

AR

Tonight, I close the door on one era of my life and open another. It’s the last night of my twenties, and tomorrow I hit the dreaded 3-0 decade.

So much has happened since I turned 20. So much has happened even since I started this blog four years ago.

I’ve traveled four continents. Swum with sting rays and surfed (poorly). Spent years traveling to resorts and Caribbean-hopping for my job. Started my own business, which is going better than I could have imagined. I wrote three books, have spent endless time (and stupid money) renovating this house, our first home. I’ve found a new love for my wonderful husband. Traveled with my dad, got closer with my sister, settled a little bit in my spirituality, and challenged myself physically with mountain climbs, yoga, and 15ks. Everything is such a friggin’ balance that it feels like you really nail one thing in life, everything else suffers. It’s always an act of managing the spinning plates.

Most shockingly, and perhaps most importantly, Brandon and I brought a new life into the world – our amazing, sweet, strong-willed, beautiful Cameron. He has folded into our lives so seamlessly, and we wonder what life was like before him. He is my everything, but at the same time, he isn’t. I’m still me. I’m still annoyed that age continues to slide over my life like a dark cloud, I still have dreams, I still have friends. But Cameron has made all of it so much more challenging and enriching.

I have seen my husband through new eyes in these last few months. He has always been caring, but I have never seen a better and more loving father. I wanted to get closer to Brandon in this Before 30 journey; little did I know it would take something I never would have expected to include on my list to make that happen.

I hate aging. I really do. I haven’t embraced it at all yet. My whole childhood, I sprinted toward the finish line to be older and more respected. Somewhere around 24, I screeched to a halt. Slow down, I thought. Let’s let this marinate for a minute.

But life has a funny way of not listening to you, and my body doesn’t respond the way it used to, hangovers really suck now, my face isn’t fresh, and I’ll never be the cool one in the room again. (Not that I ever especially was.) I look back at photos from 10 years ago and I still think I look like that. I don’t.

What’s interesting, though, is in these last few months, I’ve cared a little less about those things. I’m seeing the world through a new set of eyes and experiencing life brand new again. Cameron is fearless, thrilled to encounter everything, and un-jaded by a world in which it’s especially easy to feel jaded, angry, and “less than.” I hated that we were bringing him into a world so rocked by turmoil in our country, but little did I know he’d be my rock and solace as we wade through it. I just hope he’s too young to remember any of this garbage.

So tomorrow, at 7:01pm, I will be 30. My list will begin anew with some grand plans before 40 (which I hear is the new 30). I haven’t accepted it yet, and I wish I could age more gracefully.

But time marches on, the body starts to sag, and I am reminded every day of all the fun and adventures I still have ahead of me. They aren’t on a big bucket list, and maybe I’ve done some of them before. But it’s the big, bright, happy eyes I’ll be viewing them through that will make all the difference.

travel

Rocky Mountain High

AR

Well, I feel simultaneously stupid and proud, which is a unique feeling.

Dad and I headed over to climb Flattop Mountain on Sunday; you can see the excitement and fear on my face in the picture we took of the sign clearly pointing to the right to take us to the trail:

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So, obviously, we headed off to the left. You know, in the wrong direction. Because Dad and I share the beautiful trait of Terrible Navigational Skills.

A little over a mile down the path, all on a fairly steep incline, and asked some guy with his family which direction Flattop Mountain was.

He looked at us, confused. “About a mile and a half in the other direction, then up 4 and a half miles,” he said. “This is the trail to Emerald Lake. You’ll have to turn around if you want to hike Flattop – unless you want to climb a glacier,” he laughed.

Dammit.

I was clear with Dad I was not adding a 3 mile round-trip detour to our hike, so we thought we’d see what the glacier looked like. Um, pretty glacier-like:

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Note the scale of the person in this picture – unless you want to swim across the near-freezing lake, you’ve got to climb boulders and snow all the way around to hit the top of the glacier. Which, of course, we tried.

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View from the middle of the glacier.

After some bouldering and difficult navigation, we realized the other side of the glacier was likely much more difficult to get down than the scaling had been – and that hadn’t been particularly easy or safe. So we turned back. However, I’m still counting it as a win, because the bouldering and snow hiking was pretty intense, I got a great workout, and this is all on top of a 3.5-mile trail hike, so hey, I’m celebrating.

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We climbed back down the boulders and I decided this was a good time to get my handstand pic in Colorado. Unfortunately, the ground wasn’t flat, and I overestimated my balancing skills:

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I found flat ground near a tree and gave it another shot:

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Anyway, check out a few more pics from our fun-filled trip – including a brewery, a horseback ride through the Rockies, a distillery, a trip to Wyoming for one more handstand picture, and a ghost tour of the hotel that inspired The Shining (The Stanley).

So you know what? Trip = a Success, and I count this as my mountain climb, because it was certainly an adventure, it was a challenging workout, and we went all the way to Colorado for it. Two more states I’ve never been to before – and one I probably wouldn’t go back to (Wyoming)!

Your talented hiker friend, over and out.

 

Lists

Oh Hai.

AR

Been a while since I posted here. And unlike my other failed blog attempts, this break was intentional. I needed a mental chill pill for a while as I dealt with some personal stuff, including moving on from a long-term bout of professional stress and starting my own thing. It’s always been a dream and there’s no time like the present: pre-kids, pre-30, post-experience, post-building a professional network.

There’s also no time like the present to pick back up on my journey of initiatives before turning 30. As you could probably calculate, I’ve recently turned 29 (OH GOD). I’m about to embark on my mountain climbing trip with my dad tomorrow (Father’s Day!), and I type this from our hotel room in Colorado. I’m doing my best to appreciate this time with him rather than dread the 4.4 mile trek up the snowy mountain, which I admittedly didn’t prepare well enough for. Fingers crossed all goes okay…

In the meantime, I thought, hey, let’s update the list. I haven’t been actively pursuing any of the goals, and I’m probably going to have a moratorium on travel for a while as I start my business, but nevertheless, I think I’ll wind this baby down with most of my goals accomplished. Not half bad.

 

30. Climb a mountain.

Uhhh we’ll see how this goes.

29. Run a 10k.

28. Nail a handstand in yoga.

27. Get spiritual.

Who am I kidding on this one?

 

EDUCATION

26. Learn a language.

25. Master a skill.

Knitting!

24. Read some books that actually mean something.

23. Develop some knowledge about cars.

Car club, holla!

 

TRAVEL

22. Visit Thailand.

21. Take a trip with my Dad.

20. See a Wonder of the World.

19. Take a cross-country road trip with Brandon.

I hoped to do this in 2016 but it may not happen that soon. Either way, it’s the next trip we’ll take together.

 

LIFE CHANGES

18. Volunteer regularly somewhere for at least 6 months.

17. Turn off the T.V. for a week.

16. Finish my book.

 

MONEY MATTERS

15. Invest in 5 diversified stocks.

One of them was Chipotle. I’ll let you chew on that one for a sec. (head shaking)

14. Build retirement fund.

I’m counting this even though I do wish it was larger. I’ve significantly increased it and really worked to consistently invest. It may not grow as rapidly during this time of professional transition for me, but I’m feeling good about where I am for my age.

13. Own a second home.

Unlikely at this point, given where I am with work, but it’s still an ultimate goal to help us continue to build our net!

 

EVOLVE MY RELATIONSHIPS

12. Get closer with my sister.

I need to continue to do this but I think we have a better relationship – I know we had a great time at Serenbe!

11. Go on a walk at least once a week with Brandon.

Still working on this one, but definitely spending more quality time together. 🙂

10. Try something more sexually adventurous than usual.

9. Be a good in-law.

8. Send a real letter to a friend every month for a year.

 

TEST MY LIMITS

7. Zip line.

6. Participate in a big cultural event like a music festival or Oktoberfest.

5. Swim with a shark. Or at least sting rays.

4. Learn to surf. Or at least try.

3. Be personally responsible for winning a big piece of business.

2. Perform in a play or musical.

I performed in the work band at the Christmas party and solo’ed 2 songs – including HELLO by Adele. I’m freaking counting this!

 

My husband isn’t the best cameraman, but if you want to endure the shakiness and crane your head to see me behind a pole, you can check out the performance.

PERSONAL SATISFACTION

1. Learn to be happy just as I am.

Getting there. Day by day.

Boring Adult Things

Oh Hi There – I Hate You

AR

No, not you. Not my dear reader.

I hate you, my first two wrinkles, appearing unexpectedly on the right side of my forehead.

No, I don’t forgive you for intruding on my bathroom mirror image, appearing as a reminder of my stress and new, wonderfully startling march toward bodily decay.

I think it’s really uncool that you pop up as a result of ongoing mental anguish and probably some body abuse over the course of a woman’s lifetime. We women who operate under anxiety are warriors, dammit, and you’re just the icing on the cake. It should be people who are carefree hippies prancing through lily fields that get wrinkles; they’ve got everything else going for them – it would be like some sort of karma to even out the stress levels in the world.

I shouldn’t care about these evil monsters creeping their way across my forehead, but I do. I’ve grown up as the baby of my friend groups; the oldest of my family but the impressive ingenue of my peers. College at a young age is a great carpet ride of surprised guffaws and easy darts to the finish line. The expectations are low for the kid who’s consistently 2 years younger. Yes, I did start my first job before I was able to (legally) drink; oh, humble humble, it’s no big deal. Whether I was good at it is irrelevant.

Well, it was a big deal; it was a big deal to me. Not to outright impress other people, but to feel like I was somehow ahead in the race against the world. Beating myself out against my own goals and sprinting toward some untold finish line that now has slowed me to a crawl. I’ve realized that in this marathon I’ve made into a sprint, the finish line is death, and it’s prefaced by a long, long jog uphill once you get about 1/4 of the way through. Adorable.

Needless to say, I’m not the girl who will age gracefully. As always, I will age willfully. There is little in this world I haven’t achieved when my mind is set on it, and now I’m wearing that fierceness on my face. So fuck you, little wrinkles; I’ve got bigger fish to fry. And if I decide to blast you away one of these days with some poison in my head, I will give zero fucks. This is my life and you two little assholes are just living in it.

Uncategorized

Climb Every Mountain, Or Really Just Any Mountain

AR

My dad apparently thinks my exercise experience of late has been frantically lifting Doritos into my mouth (not wholly far off), because his latest email to me about our potential mountain climbing adventure reads:

“Climbing uphill is nothing like walking or running; it’s very hard physical labor.”

Thanks, Dad. As if it wasn’t already intimidating enough to have your 56-year-old father in better shape than you.

(This isn’t entirely inaccurate: last Christmas, we went on a 5-mile run together and I ended up shitting in the woods. SHITTING IN THE WOODS LIKE A BEAR. Yes, I had food poisoning, but it wasn’t the best intro to him that I’m a capable jogger, with a soft j).

I’d of course also venture to argue that much of last year, I ran 12-15 miles a week and took several yoga classes in addition. I also ran not just the 10k I set out to achieve, but a 15k as well (which was incentivized by chocolate at the end; a related but entirely more appealing conclusion from my run with Dad).

I can freaking train, dammit. And this bucket list was worth nothing if not to challenge myself.

I’ve traveled to Ecuador and road-tripped Thailand. I’ve saved money. I’ve learned Spanish, taken auto classes, learned to knit, read the classics, published a book, swum with sting rays, surfed in Hawaii, won major business, and volunteered weekly for six months.

If nothing else, I’ve proven to myself that I have willpower, which is something I didn’t realize until literally just now. Climbing a mountain will be, what, 8 hours out of my life? BRING IT, MOUNTAIN. I WILL SHIT IN YOUR WOODS LIKE THE CHAMPION I AM.

AND I WILL DO SO BEFORE I TURN 29.

Boring Adult Things

In Treatment

AR

It should be no surprise to anyone who reads this blog that the last few months have been rough for me. Brandon’s informed me that I’ve literally been flinging myself around in my sleep, to the point of actually losing a ring in the middle of the night and stealing all the covers, waking up with spine issues and headaches. I’ve been in a pit; sick, depressed, angry – unable to sleep, and when able to, haunted by nightmares.

I’ve removed what remained of the tumor in my life and although the after-effects are still present, they are fewer. It’s amazing how much emotion-based poison flowing through your veins can destroy you, even as placebo.

So with that said, I hope that over the next few months of blog posts, you’ll see a happier and healthier Alexis.

I’m riding my bike to and from work, re-embracing the exercise I’d abandoned recently. I’ve completed 5 or so auto classes, so I’m comfortable crossing this piece of the puzzle off the list. I’ve embraced a new challenge in my career and find myself working on countless clients and facing new and exciting obstacles each day. I’m writing music and getting better at the guitar – and our work band may even play one of my originals soon. How surreal that will be…

We’ve cut the cable cord and tried to embrace some R&R where we can. We bought Alice a Thundershirt because that lil shit is a freaking ball of anxiety (not helped, I’m sure, by my own anxiety). I bought a Prius (and HIGHLY recommend Carvana for the experience). We adopted out a kitten. I began a charity venture. I’m seeing more friends. I’m drinking less wine.

It’s all surface changes but it’s seeping inside, and replacing the hatred and disgust is a slow, super-slow feeling of peace. And for all the decisions I’ve made this year, the one I am most grateful for is the decision to leave a past that was hurting me far in the distance, even though I love those I’ve left behind. We all must forge our own paths.

And with that said, onward and upward in this life adventure… 30 and beyond.

travel

Shuffle Off To Buffalo

AR

There’s no better place in the world than Buffalo, NY.

Okay, that’s a complete lie, but there is something quaint about it.

I visited Buffalo this past weekend to see my mom’s idyllic hometown, East Aurora, which I’d only ever heard about in stories. It was exactly as she described, and so little had changed in 50 years: cute shops, a Main Street that caters to bikes, children running around and everyone just generally feeling safe. It was like I’d stepped into a Beverly Cleary novel.

I also met some distant cousins I had no idea existed: nieces of my grandmother’s, and one of their sons. I think, if I’m not mistaken, that makes the ladies first cousins once removed and the guy a second cousin, but I don’t know anything other than that I could legally marry any of them and our kids probably wouldn’t end up super deformed. Which is good news, because my second cousin is 22 and super cute. What? Don’t judge.

It was wonderful bonding with my family, and also seeing my brother, who normally lives in Philadelphia. I do feel like I’m getting just a hair closer with all of them, and that feels good. Especially because when you’re not feeling 100%, there’s nothing like having family around to restore your spirits and remind you that you’re awesome. And life is short, so you’ve gotta love on your family while you can.

My grandmother is going downhill mentally, but it’s clearly been a wonderful experience for her to see her old town and some of her old friends. She may not be able to understand us every time what kind of pizza she wants (she just smiles at us blankly), but she does remember Vidler’s 5 & 10, and that’s a win in my book. Even if she did buy a child’s sheriff hat there and elect to wear it around all day.

Uncategorized

One Happy Island

AR

Confession: I’m not a beach vacationer. As you may have noticed from my blog, I like adventure travel, heavy cultural experiences, and getting lost in a foreign countryside. You’d more likely find me in Ireland than Amelia Island, New York than the California coast.

But there’s something special about Aruba. I guess that’s why people keep coming back here year after year (after year, after year). Part of it is the perfect sand and clear turquoise waters. Part of it is the resort I’ve represented for years; my very first baby and an incredible place to stay. I could go on and on about its customer service and amazing amenities, but I won’t, because I wouldn’t do it any more justice than our ads do. But I truly, wholeheartedly believe in the property and what we do for them.

For me, though, the main love of Aruba is all the memories I have here and the people I’ve been with. From transitioning the account into my first major client at this agency and working with someone I’d remain close with for years to come, to making Aruba the first account I passed onto my talented employee and becoming similarly close with the new set of clients, I have so many memories of wonderful trips, incredible education, lots of laughter, a little debauchery, and tons of love.

The Aruba account has always been my baby, and the island has always been my grounding spot. It’s where I’ve become empowered and inspired and learned so much about the inner workings of hospitality; felt supported and like a partner, and got my hands dirty (literally and figuratively) on photo shoots. And I couldn’t be prouder to see Chelsea doing all those same wonderful things, and often doing them better. But there’s also that twinge of sadness that comes with parting ways. There’s that lingering ocean smell or a Tradewinds breeze that will always be somewhere in the wind for me.

So I’ll be back to Aruba, next time as a tourist, knowing I have–through routes less traveled–become a part of the island family that every guest knows they’ve joined. And for these next two weeks, I will give every inch of energy I have to transitioning Aruba and everyone else we work with as seamlessly as possible.

Because that’s what you do for family. And I know I’ll always be bon bini here.

Uncategorized

Surf’s Up

AR

It’s hard to complain about my job sometimes. I’m sitting in a beautiful hotel room in Maui, drying off from a morning at the beach. And it feels like 7pm but it’s only 2 here – I’ve got the whole day open.

Let me back up – I’m here on business (a video shoot and a presentation). But I figured this trip would be a perfect multi-tasking opportunity to knock out another Bucket List item, so I arrived a day early to make this a Bleisure trip. (This is a real term. I promise.)

There aren’t a lot of opportunities to surf near Atlanta, as you might suspect. Hawaii is known for its surfing, and once again, I’m proud to have made this 30 Before 30 list because I’m not sure I would have gone to the effort of a surf lesson otherwise. I’m here by myself (until my coworkers arrive), I needed to go off-property to surf, and I’m not exactly a fish in the water. Unless you count dead fish, because I’m great at floating.

But I wandered down to the concierge at 8am and he set up a cab (with Happy Jack’s Butterfly cab service, no less–butterflies all over the ceiling) and booking with Maui Wave Riders for 10am. Shortly, I was on my way.

I won’t say surfing was easy, but I did manage to catch some waves. Naturally, as the dud of the group (it was me and a family of 4 New Zealanders), I was given a paddleboard when I failed to even balance on my knees on the first go. But boy, was I good at paddleboard surfing. The instructor high-fived me regularly and suggested I go pro. Unfortunately, the confidence was short-lived, because as soon as I was given the privilege of a real surfboard again, the wipeouts continued (see proof below). But truth be told, I had a blast the whole time, and was proud to ride some “real surfboard” waves toward the end. Not bad for a 2-hour lesson.

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 surfin usa maui

After the lesson, I wandered down the road back to the Marriott, stopping for local coffee recommended to me by my first cab driver from the night before–pretty good stuff. It was about a 3 mile, leisurely (beisurely?) walk back to the hotel, and so calming and peaceful. Not half bad for another item checked off the list – and I’m so proud of myself for tackling something I was afraid to try. Surf’s up, dudes!

 

Oh, and P.S…..

I ran a freaking 15k the other day! Who am I?!!!

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PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

30. Climb a mountain.

29. Run a 10k.

28. Nail a handstand in yoga.

27. Get spiritual.

EDUCATION

26. Learn a language.

25. Master a skill.

24. Read some books that actually mean something.

23. Develop some knowledge about cars.

TRAVEL

22. Visit Thailand.

21. Take a trip with my Dad.

20. See a Wonder of the World.

19. Take a cross-country road trip with Brandon.

LIFE CHANGES

18. Volunteer regularly somewhere for at least 6 months.

17. Turn off the T.V. for a week.

16. Finish my book.

MONEY MATTERS

15. Invest in 5 diversified stocks.

14. Build retirement fund.

13. Own a second home.

EVOLVE MY RELATIONSHIPS

12. Get closer with my sister.

11. Go on a walk at least once a week with Brandon.

10. Try something more sexually adventurous than usual.

9. Be a good in-law.

8. Send a real letter to a friend every month for a year.

TEST MY LIMITS

7. Zip line.

6. Participate in a big cultural event like a music festival or Oktoberfest.

5. Swim with a shark. Or at least sting rays.

4. Learn to surf. Or at least try.

3. Be personally responsible for winning a big piece of business.

2. Perform in a play or musical.

PERSONAL SATISFACTION

1. Learn to be happy just as I am.